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First Entry - August 18, 2025

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For me, taking the first step always seems insurmountable. But I've come to realize that just because it signifies the commemoration of something new, it doesn't mean it has to be extra special (or even memorable). I'd rather take an immemorable step than stay put. I put so much pressure on myself to keep things alive in memory and imbue them with meaning, but it's okay for things to be dull and quite meaningless. Of course, it all has to do with perfectionism and executive dysfunction and the fear of not attaining a certain "impossible" standard that make taking a first step such a hellish task. I will keep trying to do things, even if they're just blah. It might always bother me, the imperfection, but I won't let this discomfort consume me.

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